Then, Now, To Be
by DistinctVagueness
Summary: A glimpse of the future that Future Max gave up everything to prevent.


**Disclaimer:** Anything you recognise here belongs to Melinda Metz, Jason Katims, and etc. However, Serena's character (though not her name), is my own imagination.

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**A/N: **I wrote this a few months ago as an entry for a message board's fanfic competition. I don't generally write Roswell fanfiction anymore, my Harry Potter obsession has taken over that and nearly everything else in my life.

**Then, Now, To Be**

_She collapses to her knees, black hair thrown askew over her slight, barely covered shoulders, ignoring the grit that has embedded itself in her knees. Shuffling desperately forward to seek refuge behind the charred remains of what used to be the public library, she coughs harshly, unable to stop the billowing particles of dust from sticking to the back of her parched throat, which blocks her heavy gasps for oxygen._

_'Please, God, don't let them see me. I just need a moment…a moment…all I need…please…' Covering her mouth with laced fingers, hoping to filter the powder that is clogging her ability to breathe; she takes in air quickly, glances up and then shakily clambers to her feet. The night air is cold, colder than she remembers. No stars are visible, though there are no cloudy skies to obscure them. She recalls the last time she was out here. The occasion on which they had lunged for safety, escaping death's widening jaws by pure luck. She shakes her head, clearing her mind. There's no time for reminiscing. Not if she wants any chance at all._

_Her eyes darting around for movement, she goes on again, her feet picking up speed as she gains the confidence to keep on walking. Just as the need to rest takes over her, she spies what she's been told to look for. There, rising up in the darkness, seemingly bleak and desolate, but below is all the protection she needs. Heartened, she begins to run, thinking, knowing that if she can just make it that few more steps…_

_Hope fails her._

_From the once still darkness, there's an eruption of noise and light. Sirens serenade the empty buildings; pulsating red beams their guttering, blinding spotlights. Then comes the grinding sound that grates on her very skin and sends her hands flying to her ears. She thinks that if she can just block the confusion out, she can keep on going regardless._

_Then she sees them. The group of companions she has strived to keep safe for so long. Dressed in black, keeping together, sharing apprehensive glances. She begins to race towards them._

_"Michael! Liz! It's me! Please! Kyle! Stop!"_

_She already knows it's too late. Her weary, frail form is too far away to be recognized and in the midst of the din around them, she is just another ploy for their attention. As a last effort, she raises her hands above her head, waving them madly, screaming for all she's worth. A glint of cruel steel reveals itself from a deep pocket._

_Her words swallowed, she can only stagger as she feels the force of a thousand well-aimed punches smacking her squarely in the chest. A pale hand creeps over to the wound and leaves a trail of sticky red in its wake. She falls._

_It takes many minutes for the blurry amongst the debris to die down. Not a soul stirs within the swirling dust and broken glass. Except for a pair of glassy blue eyes gazing heavenwards._

_

* * *

_

Serena's head shot up from the keyboard, and she blinked in confusion as the grey room came back into focus again. I must have drifted off again, she mused, still slightly disorientated, glancing at her watch and noting the time that had gone by. Slowing her breath, she took a sip from the cup she'd left on the desk and pulled a face.

"Eurgh." Stone-cold coffee.

She picked up the cup and stood up, yawning as she did so. There was time for a break and a hot refill before she went back to her program.

Serena padded across the threadbare carpet into the sparse kitchen. As she went about washing her cup, putting in some instant coffee and turning the kettle on, she noticed that there was nobody around. There was no trace of anyone else having been in here.

"Hello?" she called. "Is there anybody around?"

Feeling slightly uneasy, which, she told herself, was nothing to do with the nightmare she'd just had, she started up the small staircase. Max had always organized their small resistance group so that at least one person stayed in the shelter with Serena as she worked. They knew they were well protected there, but still, if they were attacked, at least one person could warn the others not to return.

She knocked on the door of the tiny bathroom. When there was no answer, she went to one of the bedrooms. She opened the door to find a sleeping Kyle stretched out on one of the mattresses. As the light spilled past the door and illuminated his face, he began to stir.

"Wha-what's wr-wrong?" he asked, badly concealing a yawn. When the tall, raven-haired girl standing in the doorway said nothing, he frowned, and pushed the covers off. Kyle swung sideways out of the bed, planting his bare feet on the floor.

"Serena? What's happened?" A hint of alarm rose in his voice. Serena, the fact that everything was fine just sinking in, shook her head hastily.

"Oh, no…I just…I woke up and it was too quiet, I thought maybe…" Kyle gave her a small smile. "Asleep at the desk again, huh?"

"That and coffee are the only things that are keeping me awake now," she replied wryly, running a hand through her slumber-tousled hair. 'I'll be downstairs if you need me."

She quickly went back downstairs and soon after heard footsteps as Kyle left the bedroom and entered the bathroom. There was a click of a lock and the sudden sound of water gushing to life through the ancient plumbing system, creaking and screeching following its path.

It was amazing now normal this all seemed, she mused, taking a teaspoon from the cutlery drawer. She remembered the day that she'd become part of the group well. One moment she had been a hard-working, but discontented student, working her way through college, avoiding her obnoxious roommate's loud music and out of control raves and the next, a petite brunette had approached her in the library and asked if she had a moment to spare.

Of course, curiosity had won her over, and she had listened what the girl had to say. Her name was Liz, she had been told and she needed her help. Firstly, Serena assumed she had been enlisted because of her ability and aptitude for Physics. It had been a dream come true; she hadn't been passed over for her interest, but singled out as an asset.

For a month she had worked with Liz on the topic of particle manipulation and acceleration, finding the woman to be a wonderful friend and a new confidant, but odd in certain ways. Like the habit she had of vanishing, an instant after they'd said goodbye. Or how she always avoided the subject of telephone numbers or addresses. And then there was him.

'Him' was Max Evans, though she hadn't been privy to this information till long after she first saw him. Tall, dark and stereotypically handsome, he had a strange knack of being nearby everywhere she went. Finally, on his appearance in the college library for the umpteenth time, she had cornered him. That was the day she'd been brought here and shown the real reason for her work. Liz wasn't an independent researcher, carrying renegade information from the pharmaceutical company she had been employed at; she was on the run. Along with her friends.

Stirring the warm liquid slowly, and taking in its rich, comforting scent, Serena sighed. It had been three long years. Three long years with stolen computer and lab equipment and a lucky streak that was running short. One simple mistake and everything she'd worked for could be lost. Of course, that was nothing compared to the fear of what could happen if it worked. If it worked…she would no longer be needed. Ever again. All her effort would be erased. She would no longer feel the satisfaction of being needed.

Footsteps on the stairs roused her, and she turned. Kyle, now dressed, stood by the door, tersely looking at his watch.

"He should be here," he muttered, half to himself.

"Max will be here," she told him, resolutely. "He always is. He always gets it done."

Kyle looked at her. "I know. It's just…I'm sick of this waiting. We keep getting the chance to strike and he always passes it by. I'd rather have them find us, than spend another year waiting. It's driving me mad, Serena."

She bit her lip. "I feel the same…but he really is right, you know. We're not ready and we can't simply take action because we're sick of stewing in here." She regarded him seriously. "If it wasn't for him and Liz, Kyle, I'd be just another body. Even if I don't like it, I have to accept his judgment. I have to accept that he's buried in this far more than I am. We can't rush headlong into another rash confrontation, not without their word."

He nodded. "I know that, really, I do. It just seems that we're taking a long time to do nothing. You've been sitting here, day after day, and we've not used anything you've come up with- it's a waste."

Serena's eyes lowered, trying to hide the sting of his remark. She was hurt, though she wouldn't ever admit it.

Kyle caught himself at her reaction. "No, I didn't mean it like that. I meant, you've done all this hard work, even when you haven't been asked, which is incredible sometimes, and we don't take a second to even have a glance at what you've done. And we wouldn't have gotten this to work unless you'd-" he took a step towards the pale aluminum sphere with a glistening, alien insignia etched across it, that was placed on Serena's desk.

"No!" She darted from the kitchen to grab his hand before it came into contact with the sphere. Serena gestured hurriedly to the electrodes wired to the laptop that were taped to it, emitting a faint whirring sound and the sporadic blue spark. "I'm monitoring how powerful its electrical impulses are now, and since I don't know their strength yet…"

"I could be fried?"

She nodded, unsuccessfully hiding her smile, but still looking worried. "And I wouldn't- I mean, we wouldn't, want that to happen."

"We?" questioned Kyle. Suddenly, Serena became forcefully aware of her hand still on his and their now close proximity. She immediately started to feel flustered, but to his amusement, didn't release her grip.

"Well…everyone...else…the group, I, well…" She trailed off, her eyes darting everywhere but his own. Serena was torn by two emotions. She desperately wanted to pull back her hand and bury herself in a hole somewhere so that no-one could see how red her face now was. But something kept her firmly in place. Just as she was trying to talk herself out of her awkwardness, Kyle stepped closer to her, a gentle grin on his face. Her body frozen and her mouth strangely dry, she felt her heart beating fit to burst in her chest.

Abruptly, the lock outside creaked loudly, causing the pair to jump back from each other.  
The door flew open, and there stood Max; crimson on his shirt and a frantic expression in his eyes. Liz suddenly appeared behind him, her jacket hanging from her shoulders and her breath coming in short, sharp gasps. She walked slowly into the room, in a daze and sank into the couch, still staring ahead. "Michael's dead," said Max, breaking the silence, his voice hollow and broken.

Serena and Kyle gazed at him in horror. "What? How-" "Maria's in the safe-house. We don't know about Isabel," answered Liz, her eyes refusing to meet theirs. Her shock seemed to have frozen every other emotion.

Max seemed to come to himself. "We tried…there's no way we can find them now. Not unless…" He trailed off. Suddenly, his eyes alighted on Serena. "The Granolith."

"What are you talking about?" Serena asked, dazed and confused. Why was he talking about the Granolith now, of all times? Then it dawned on her. She began to shake her head quickly.  
"Max, no, we can't…we can't be sure…"

Liz stood up. "He's right. We have to use it." She looked to Serena. "You said you know how to do it."

"I did," Serena replied weakly. "But there's no way of knowing the long-term results…once it's been initiated…if it should go wrong…"

Liz looked at her, eyes pleading. "Please, Serena. I don't think we care what happens now…but if we can erase all of this…start anew…"

"Liz…if it should work…you and Max…"

"Don't," said the brunette in little more than a whisper. "I know. But it'll save all our lives…"

Serena looked at Liz and felt her heart wrench at the expression written painfully across her pale face. Though you rarely noticed it, this girl was remarkably brave. Wordlessly, she pulled open one of the desk drawers and handed her a small box. "You have to insert the crystal," she said softly. "I've changed it enough to be able to do this."

Swiftly, Liz wrapped her arms around her in a tight hug. "I can't say I'll remember you. If I could, I always would. But your life will be better this way, believe me. Thank you for this." She stepped away towards Max. "We should do it now," he told her. After exchanging significant looks with the other two left watching them helplessly, the pair disappeared through the door.

Serena was the first to move. She followed their path and gently turned the handle of the now closed door. It swung open easily. Kyle came behind her as she climbed the stone steps outside.  
As the chilly night air pinched her cheeks and made her shiver, she stared upwards, feeling her heart sink like a stone in her chest.

Emerging forebodingly from the blackened sky, the distinct mark she had been looking for all along loomed above them. They had come. 

_**DistinctVagueness******_


End file.
